The holiday season, while joyful, can be a major source of stress and anxiety for children of all ages. The constant shift in daily routines, the excitement of parties and presents, and the unfamiliar social settings can easily throw even the most resilient child into a tailspin. We’ve compiled expert tips to help parents prepare their children for a successful and calm holiday season.
Preparation is Key: Visuals for Managing Change
One of the most effective strategies for preparing children for the upcoming holidays is the use of visual supports. Visuals help to anchor children who struggle with schedule changes and social predictability.
- Review Family Photos: Before holiday gatherings, look through photos of family members you expect to see. This helps children with social memory and reduces the stress of meeting unfamiliar or rarely seen relatives. Remind your child of each person’s name.
- Visualize the Schedule: Show your child a calendar for the holiday week. Visually note days off from school, any adjusted schedules, and the specific times of holiday activities. This provides a clear, predictable social schedule they can follow.
Easing Anxiety During Holiday Travel
Traveling—whether by car or plane—is a common source of child anxiety due to the loss of control and the break from routine.
- Prep with a Countdown: Several days before leaving, sit down with your child and talk about the trip. Mark the departure day on the calendar and count down the days.
- Use Geographic Visuals: Pull up a map online to show your child where you are going. Look at pictures of the destination to help them create a mental image of the new setting.
- Set Behavioral Expectations: Discuss the expected behaviors for the trip before you leave. Gently remind them of these rules while traveling to maintain a sense of structure.
Specific Tips for Flying with Children
Flying can be particularly challenging. Prepare your child for the entire travel process using targeted visuals:
- Map the Airport: Find pictures and maps of the airport online. Point out the security area and mark your gate numbers to make the environment feel less overwhelming.
- Explain the Plane: Talk about the specific airline and what the planes will look like. Discuss your seat numbers.
- Prepare for Security: Walk through the security process beforehand so it’s not a surprise.
- Create a Comfort Bag: Pack a special bag of “favorite things” for the flight, such as books, headphones for music/movies, or quiet activities.
- Set a Timer: Use a timer so your child can visually track how long the flight will take and when it will be over, which helps with self-regulation and managing anticipation.
- Prioritize Early Boarding: Arrive early and take advantage of priority boarding for families with young children. For an older child with flight anxiety, politely ask the gate agent if you can board with the families to minimize pre-flight stress.
Mastering Holiday Manners and Social Skills
Social skills are essentially the unspoken or hidden rules expected in various settings. Role-playing is the best way for children to practice these complex social cues and interactions.
- Role-Play Situations: Practice and role-play specific holiday social situations at home.
- Establish Expectations: Discuss exactly what will be expected of your child for each event.
- Formal Events: Discuss the appropriate attire, how to greet adults using the expected language, and the “hidden social rules” for the specific event.
- Family Dinners: Discuss expected table manners, and using polite words such as “Please” and “Thank You.”
- Polite Declining: Teach them a script for how to politely decline food they don’t like, such as, “No, thank you, but everything looks delicious.”
- Gracious Gift Receiving: This is a crucial area of social etiquette. Provide children with a simple script for how to respond politely when they receive a gift they dislike. The focus should be on expressing gratitude to the giver, not judging the item or pretending that you do like it (e.g., “Thank you so much! I really appreciate it,” or “Wow, that was so nice of you!”).
By proactively preparing your child with visual supports and role-playing key interactions, you can significantly reduce their stress and help them navigate the fun, yet complex, holiday social landscape.
This guidance is provided by Rhonda Osisek, a speech and language pathologist specializing in social communication in children. Rhonda is the owner of Social Learning, LLC in Virginia Beach and the creator of The Social Butterflies Club® Social Skills Program.